Saying Goodbye

Sorry may be the hardest word to say, but for me it definitely is goodbye. There is something about that word which I resent. A finality. An end, of sorts. Which is why, saying goodbye is the hardest thing to do.

29^th April 2010. “Officially” it was the last day of college. Last exam. Last day at the canteen. Last time we all hang out together – in college.  Last this, last that. At the start of the day nothing really sunk in. It was just like every other normal day. We were sitting in the same airless classroom surrounded by the same screaming women, yelling and chatting away at the top of our voices, while the viva went on in the class next to us. Continual reminders (pleas, rather) from the H.O.D asking us to “talk softly” fell on deaf ears and we continued to banter and chatter endlessly to her turned back. Like I said, just like any other day in college.

And then, there was a blinding flash! Yes, it was picture-time.

We all posed endlessly for photos. With different people, and different cameras. Same people and multiple cameras. Unknown cameras and groups and groups of photographs being clicked. Mini-mayhem of sorts. At the end of every smile and pose an invariable cry would ring out (the language varied with the group you posed with) which would be along the lines of “Arrey facebook mein pucca daal dena theek hai? Aaj hi” or “Hey send me the snaps or put on the common id, ok va?” To which, we would enthusiastically nod and hear another earful of “Tag everyone! Don’t forget” as well.

No denying it. Picture-time, whether you like it or not, is a part and parcel of any event at M.O.P, yes, even when it is something somber as saying goodbye.

So there we were. The 28 of us – each one of us, miraculously different from the other yet similar in someway or the other, comfortable in our very own groups. Looking back, it indeed is a wonder of sorts that such an assorted class actually spent two years of its life, getting along (well, at least on face value, we looked like a happy class) working on assignments, cribbing at everything the college had (and hadn’t) to offer, competing, arguing, bitching, eating, sleeping, more cribbing and (how could I forget) posing for photographs!   After we had said goodbye to our H.O.D (the ever gracious Dr Padma Rani), it was time to say goodbye to each other.

This was the weird part. How do I say goodbye to someone when I know that I would want to see them again. Or worse, someone I would never want to set eyes on again, but would somehow end up meeting at the random-est of places. See why I hate goodbyes? After an initial bout of confusion (a seemingly normal thing for me), I took a deep breath and decided to just take the plunge. I did the simplest thing I could fathom.  I went up to everyone and hugged them one by one (hell, I even hugged girls I barely smiled at in those two years), with the usual “Keep in touch” and “See you on facebook” on my lips. Of course I saved the best ones for the last with a different promise this time “We will keep in touch” and “Lets meet up soon”.

A second round of goodbyes followed in the staffroom and this time, we said goodbye to our teachers, who genuinely wished us the best of luck with the warmest of smiles. Personally, I think, they were just as happy to see us go. Finally, it was time to say bye to our comrades, the neighboring class (Broadcast Communication) who were incidentally busy with a photo session of their own (no surprises there!). After a round of bear hugging, air kissing and hi-fying, it was finally (yes, finally) time to take the lift back down and leave M.O.P (hopefully) forever.

College has never really given me an education. It gave me the skills that I needed to use in the profession that I have now chosen to make a career out of. It gave me direction when my life was going virtually nowhere. It gave me friends. It gave me my soul sisters – Yasha, Saranya, Renu – life just got a whole lot better with these guys. It gave me a whole bunch of memories to record. It gave me exposure. It gave me experience. And for that, I am always grateful.

Would I miss college? Probably not. But, I would miss all the wonderful friends I made there. Would I miss driving down the cramped IVth Lane, Nungambakkam High Road, looking for parking space in the crowded backyard of M.O.P? No, I would not. But I would miss the drive to college, normally with Yasha in tow, frantically cramming on the morning of an all important exam. Would I miss writing exams? No I wouldn’t. But I would miss looking at Saranya’s face before the exam and freaking out thinking that she’s covered roughly about 90% of the syllabus more than me? Would I miss sitting in the airless classroom on the 4^th floor, trying to look out the window, vainly searching for goodlooking guys in Ispahani Centre? Not in a million years. But, I would miss turning around and finding Renu, blissfully asleep by my side (or even on my arm), oblivious to what is happening around her. Would I miss the lectures, the TV and the P.A system? Certainly not. However, I would miss the startled look on my classmate’s faces when something comes on the P.A system or when one of them is caught by a professor for day dreaming.

How can I even imagine saying goodbye to all these wonderful memories?

Nandita